Brother’s: The Constant Arguing and Bickering (When Does it Stop?!)

We have three kids.  Our daughter is the oldest (going on 16) and she doesn’t really argue much with her younger brothers unless they are doing the “I’m the annoying little brother” thing.  And yes, they can be annoying.  That’s about as far as it goes when it comes to sibling arguments when it comes to our oldest.  Our boys on the other hand…argue all the time.  Our youngest will be turning 8 while our other one just turned 11. Only being a few years apart, they bicker constantly.  They have good days when they don’t at all and they have bad days where it’s constant.  And it’s never big arguments or anything, it’s just annoying.

10 Things My Kids Argue About.

1. “He has more than me!”  I seriously thought this would have stopped by now.  I mean really, who cares that the one has 10 more pieces of cereal in his bowl than the other?  How can he even tell?  I might be exaggerating a little bit but you get the point.  Does this ever stop?

2. “He won’t give me my truck back!”  What?  The one he wasn’t playing with?  The one he probably didn’t even know existed anymore because these boys have like 500 Matchbox Cars and Hotwheels altogether?  These boys haven’t had their separate cars for years because they both play with them and quite frankly is pretty much impossible to know which one belongs to whom.  But of course, he somehow knows.  Sad thing is, he could probably find an identical one in the massive storage container they are all in.

3. Taking turns is always a problem.  Well, not always.  They have good days and bad days.  We have to set a timer or make them watch the clock.  It usually works and they are pretty good about it but if one of them breaks the rules just once, there’s a fight.  And whatever they are sharing is gone.  Buh-bye.

4. They even fight about which direction we are going when we are out in the car.  If they know where we are going they may know but if they don’t, they have no idea and will still argue until their dad reminds them that he’s the one driving.  Sometimes I think they like to argue just for the sake of arguing.

5. Being a tattle tale.  They like to do this to each other all the time.  Now I do appreciate them being a tattle tale when they should, but not when it’s unnecessary.  Most of the time it’s definitely unnecessary.

6.  The older one wants to control everything.  He has to be the leader.  I don’t know if its because he’s older so he thinks he has to or what.  He only does this with his brother.  The younger one doesn’t like being told what to do.  He likes to figure things out on his own and do things his way.  He’s very independent.  There are times that he looks up to his older brother asking for help and looking for him to “lead” but it becomes a problem when he thinks he has to have that control all the time.

7. When it comes time to clean up their rooms or clean up the yard after playing, oftentimes one of them doesn’t want to help.  Of course that causes some issues as it would for anyone. 

8. Our youngest is a bit of a know it all.  And I’m not being sarcastic or anything.  He normally is right about things.  And I don’t mean that in a way that one is smarter than the other or anything like that.  He’s a magnet for information and knows things I’m surprised an 8 year old even knows.  My brother was that way too.  He literally knew everything and it was so annoying.  Our youngest is a lot like him in that way.  I has to make it known he is right and the older one just wants or has to be right all the time.

9. They fight over the bathroom every morning.  Never fails.  They both have to be the first.  Actually, they seem to think they have to be the first at everything.

10. They compete with each other a lot.  There’s a lot of “that’s no fair.”, or “he got a head start.”, that kind of thing.  And some days, everything is a competition.

They may argue and fight all the time but they are brothers after all.  Regardless, they are really close to each other and do a lot of things together.  Neither one of them would hesitate to stick up for the other or help the other with something.  Through it all, they are buddies.  They do have more fun with each other than they fight though.  All the arguing stays between them.  Of course there are times when they will argue with us or may have a disagreement with a friend but nothing like what they do with each other.  They are pretty respectful kids that are mindful of others even though you may not think it if you saw the way they bicker with each other.

We step in when we need to.  Sometimes they need to be separated and sometimes they need to lose privileges.  Sometimes I just have to tell them they are staying away from each other all day just for my piece of mind.  We let the smaller things go to see if they can resolve their little conflict on their own and most of the time they do.  Which I think it’s important to learn do get through conflict with others.  We like to sit down with them at the end of the day every couple days or so for something like an intervention period.  Where we can talk to them about things and they can talk to each other and do our best to parent them so their “tiffs” don’t get worse than they are.   

So, do you have sibling bickering in your house?

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