Kids/Family/Life, Parenting & Family

What is a SuperMom? Be a Super Mom, not a Supermom

Be a Super Mom, not a Supermom. I mean, what is a Supermom exactly? Does a Supermom have superpowers? Does she wear a cape? If there is such a thing, I wish I had them. Have you ever looked up the definition of Supermom? I have and some of them are pretty comical. I am not a Supermom. However, I do think I am a Super Mom. And as a mom, that is what we should really be striving for. Our kids don’t want a Supermom.

When I became a mom for the first time, I had it in my head that I was supposed to do everything. I was a stay at home mom so it was my job to take care of a newborn and make sure my house was spotless. Have dinner ready when my husband came home and make sure laundry was done daily. Dishes were done every night, and never mind all the other household things like balancing the budget. Oh and on top of that, try to keep up with classes I was taking at the time.

I was tired. All. The. Time. 

Yep, can you believe it? I didn’t have superpowers. I found myself snapping at my husband all the time. It didn’t take long for me to feel a little resentful toward him. And you know what? It was really all my own doing. I started nagging at him when it came to the smallest stuff. He left his socks on the floor. Things that were that simple. It’s not like he didn’t help with things around the house. A lot of the time he even got up with me in the middle of the night with our daughter. The problem was, I had these expectations and things had to be done a certain way.

So I took a step back. I was supposed to be enjoying my marriage, enjoying my daughter and enjoying motherhood. I wasn’t enjoying it at all. The whole Supermom thing was a lie. After I took a step back, things got so much easier. I still kept my house clean, it just wasn’t spotless. Toys were picked up at the end of the day. The every day things didn’t have to be done every single day. I found a way to balance every day chores and finding time to enjoy things. I even found time to have some me time.

Can you really be a Supermom if you are tired, overwhelmed, stressed, and not enjoying your family?

When the Supermom mentality starts to sneak back in.

There was a time when that Supermom mentality started to sneak back into my head. When it did, our oldest was in school and we had a second kiddo. He was a toddler when this issue came up again. Our daughter was in school and I thought I had to do everything. It’s one thing to be involved with your child and school. Once again I thought I had to do everything and ended up taking on way too much. With another baby.

I found out real quick that helping with every single classroom party and other things in the classroom, school meetings, PTA, etc., took a toll on me pretty quickly. However, I became overwhelmed again and realized I just couldn’t do everything. So I chose one party I would come in to help with. I dropped the PTA because it was too much. And I only came into the classroom (other than one party) once or twice a year if her teacher needed classroom help.

When my oldest had moved on to middle school and our then youngest two were still in elementary school, I helped with one party or other classroom thing each. I have always liked helping and being involved with my kids’ classrooms but my kids need a mom who isn’t stressed out, tired, and completely overwhelmed. I had to learn to say no.

Being a mom can be busy as it is.

So therefore, there is no point in trying to be a Supermom. All three of our kids are older now and they are in extracurricular programs and sports. So sometimes we get busy. It’s pretty normal. I like to call it normal busy, not Supermom busy. When it comes to sports, sometimes as parents we have to provide a snack for after the game. I don’t stress myself out over it. I look for healthy options but I don’t make it a big deal. There have been times I have seen something on Pinterest and think, “Is that what I should be doing?”. Should I be making these outrageous snacks?

One big tip I have is to check your perception when it comes to Pinterest or social media. Just because a mom posts something really fun and creative doesn’t mean she does it all the time. It’s easy to get lost in all that and think some people have too much time on their hands. Or assume she is trying to be a Supermom and somehow turn it into a negative thing. In reality, she probably just tried something fun and thought to share it. I like trying things myself so I may see something on Pinterest or elsewhere and decide to try it out just for fun. I just don’t overwhelm myself thinking I have to do these things all the time.

Don’t take on everything yourself.

As a mom, you may feel like you have to take on everything yourself. Don’t do that. I understand that sometimes that’s easier said then done. Especially for single moms. Teach your kids how to do chores and other things around your house. My husband and kids help with things all the time.

So don’t be a Supermom. Usually that only results in a lot of stress, cause you to be frustrated, and overwhelmed. It’s not a really great combination. My kids don’t want a Supermom anyway. They want a mom who is there (by that I mean, not crazy out of her mind), a mom who is engaged and connected to them. They want a mom who is playful, teaches and guides them.

So relax moms. Take a step back and throw that Supermom mentality out the window. Just be the Super Mom that you are.

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About Nicole Anderson

My name is Nicole and I write DustinNikki Mommy of Three. I enjoy writing product reviews and hosting giveaways. I have been married to my high school sweetheart for 20 years and we have three kids. When I am not terribly busy running someone to band or soccer practices, I find some time to write. I also like to write about my kids, family and life. My family enjoys the outdoors - hiking, canoeing, and exploring things we haven't seen or been before. Thanks for stopping by and checking out my blog!
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